Noise-less ( I am Sin, I am Blood, I am Haven)

What happened when all your anguish falls on deaf ears? Where is the ideal way to scream and shout when it is drown by the silence of white noise? I think, I contemplate, I don't know where I'm drifting between here and there, between reality and half awaken days and the cold nights.

I don't feel the bitterness, I don't feel the urge to break down, I need to find my release. I dropped on all fours and still the echo of my noiseless scream haunts me. The ghost of my history is catching up on me..where do I go? What do I do?

Being an eternal sucks right now...damn the deal, damn the offer, damn the one who seeks my misery and put me thru the things I wanted to forget on a thousand life cycle.

I have forgotten what it feel like to be in a company of a soul mate. Soul mate? I live, no...I thrive to survive because my existance demands the souls of those I seek, and being a merchant of endless dreams...these souls keeps me alive and being wanted. Ah...I fall on my own dilemma again..curse my luck. Curse the choices I made. But my curse has drawn you towards me. Soon...soon enough, I will come for you.

We fall, We get up but do we learn to take it easy?

Human is the only species on earth who know the danger is there but is willingly enough to face and endure it. The rest of the species know that it's good to avoid it, period.

So that is what makes it fun, I assume. We know that somehow if along the way, given the most senior people, there will be a time that we kinda ignore the signs and just plunge head long.

Now if we were smart enough,we wouldn't be dealing with the bloody aftermath and all the anguish we rake along the way. We simply divert and takes a different kind of approach. But since I'm here writting about this, so yeah...I myself does fall victim to my own predicament..sucks really but I take it as a rerun on lesson learnt. Can't have enough of the good things.

I actually need to sleep now...can't think of any coherent thoughts worth sharing right now unless you would like to reach garbage or thrash or just pure nonsense. Till then..cheers and Merry X-Mas people. Have a good one for me.

Heavy Rotations

Penat giler sekarang nih. Segala urat urat dan tulang temulang semua sudah mau luruh. Dah 2 minggu weekend burn pasal berjalan sana sini carik rezeki. Nak jugak sound boss tapi bila pikir pikir dapat duit punya pasal hehehehe...kansel. Mana dengan nak Krismas lagi (bukan saya...org rumah, jadi kena la sedia budjet nak jek mak dan bapak mertua ehehehe...aduih! Apa main cubit-cubit orang nih...)

Dalam sibuk tak sibuk nih, sempat jugak capai dua bijik buku citer (satu melayu satu mat saleh yg ditulih oleh orang Malaysia).Yang mat saleh punya buku nama Devil's Place oleh Brian Gomez. Verdict...kelakar giler, sakit perut baca buku ni masa atas flight...orang tengok semacam jo...sewel apa budak ni baca novel boleh gelak-gelak. Kepada sesapa yang suka membaca, buku kelakar lah...walaupun kisah ni berkisar pasal pembunuhan tapi memang ada adengan yang betul-betul menarik. Kreatif betul penulis nih. Worth every sen from the price of RM34.90

Masuk hari ni dah 2 hari kat Kuching at "inlaws" house. Baik baik aja sekarang, tadi jadi drebar pi pasar carik barang barang nak masak untuk besok. Ye lah..besok kan Krismas...tak tau nak buat apa, takkan nak jadi pak pacak jo...so teman jadi drebar je lah. Sempat belajar ikut lorong lorong gelap kat sini. Kacang aja bah. 26 hb pi Sibu, pun dengan orang umah juak pasal ada keja skit. Dia ikut pasal nak tengok tempat lama dia dulu masa kat Sibu...ikut jer. So ni kira cuti cuti Malaysia yang tak betul2 cuti la pulak dek kerna semua kakitangan dah tak menang tangan nak jaga keja. Dengan report yang bertangguh sama report yang akan datang...pancit dan malas sungguh. Pasal tu la hari ni teman tulih blog saja...malas dah tak bertahap lagipun tengah hari macam ni mengantuk la pulak.

Jadi, kiranya saya sambut tahun baru kat Kuching aja lah...balik KL tahun depan (2 tahun cuti, mana nak dapat kekekeke). Nak tido jap nih, dah berapa malam tido tak cukup. Petang petang skit nanti samabung buat laporan semula.

Selamat Ber-Krismas pada yang sambut Krismas...

A Quickie

This will be brief:

- Still bz eventhough its almost then end of the year, pack light would travel.

- Just finish plan dialog with my boss yesterday which lasted for 2.45hrs...the longest discussion of my work and future with the company by far

- Buy something on impulse again but worth it since the sales person was nice and informative, very chatty plus I got loads of stuff that are consider worth the buy and got additional discount somemore ( now who can resist that!). My bed is dying and I need to replace it soooo the offer comes at a right time. Plus plus I was feeling good and happy after the plan dialog. So people should know that If I'm happy, they can sell me almost anything...as long as they put it nicely...in words. LOL

- Do not use the above to get things for your personel gain...LOL. My Boo will kick my ass afterwards.

- My card was damaged and I have to rely on lotsa cash till I get a replacement. (Crap)

- ON travel again today...as usual but will be very brief and quick ( need to go out more to replenish the money that I spend last nite hehehehe) Not complaining neway.

- Have not watch any movie since...oh crap...I forgot what was the last movie.....Oh yeah..Twilight.

- Will be leaving to Kuching on 23rd and spend weekends with My Boo and his family. (which gonna be weird since I have no idea how things will turn up)

- Ok then...will update later later..the flight announcement has called.

Later Dudes.

Burnout

The title does not refer to one of Gen 13 members (for those people out there who did not know what Gen 13 is all about...go Google it.), it's just refering to my state of being...I'm burning out for the second time this year. Hell, I don't even have a proper hour to compose my plans, all I know that my secretery was doing all the planning and handing me the result.

So it won't be long till 23rd arrives and I could easily slip into a state of no brainer situation and be like that all the way through new year. (All wishesh and fingers crossed in every possible configuration).

Now I need to get back on my work before the weekend and yes, I'm no going back home for Eid Adha ( or Raya Qurban as they say over here) as I will be somewhere in KL...hopefully. In between then and now...i'll be off in Kuching and Brunei for work (I hate working on weekends but the pays good heheheheso yeah, I learn to swallow the bitter part of resting hours for the sake of being a material garner).

If I do have some time to kill, I could make a list of what 2008 meant for me and what I wanted to achive in 2009...if I can survive through this....lucky luck and see ya!