Dangling

Ever take a good hard look on yourself sometimes? What did you see? Are you glad being you? And the big question here is, are you happy being that person?

Its almost end of January 2008 and I know I shouldn’t be, so erm….negative? Writing negative, I just let an ugh…from my lips. Yes, I don’t like it one bit being on that side of the zone. But the fact is, you need the bad to see the good and vice versa. Too much of both kills. I know that sucks but it’s the truth kan?

2 am and I’m still awake. Usually by this time I’ll be in La La Land (sleeping la) since tomorrow is Monday. Odd as it may be, my life does have ups and downs. What? You guys think I don’t have any human contact left in me? Excuse me, I made a lot of changes so far (do read Reunion)and I intend to clean up my act and make this my best year…..that is until the eve of 2009, then it will the best of that particular year. It’s a personal KPI of mine.

Ops…got carried away there. My vice, my bad. Well actually its not since it helps me a lot in getting me out of a much needed jamming situation so far. When people ask me certain things, I usually sway them away from the topic rather than saying no in their face. Again, one of my habits that I fail to improvise. Yes I do have a hard time saying no sometimes.

I must admit that the 2nd week of January has been an emotional drainage for me. I’m handling them from all corners and how do I managed to remain sane by the end of that onslaught has left me puzzled. Must be my innate ability to filter or shut them out when I fall asleep. I tend to sleep a lot when I have commitment issues, both work and social aspect of life. It acts as a buffer, plus I get plenty of rest. So now I’m wearing the excess sleep I have by writing this in the wee hours of the morning, which is not so bad. Consider it like a revision when going thru an examination. I do my studies early in the morning, less clutter, less heat, less people and plus the TV is not playing any good show at that time.

But the main point is that, never stop looking at yourself, if you don’t like what you see or who / what you have become, you can always say “STOP”. Take 5, sit down and search the answer you want from within and recalibrate your approach to life. Life is cool if you know how to manage it, be kind to yourself. Take a day off, switch off the phones and unplug the computers and PS2. On that day, do the things that you have planned to do for a very long time and enjoy.