Reunion

New year and I managed to sort the most important issue that has been dormant for 5 years. I actually did make an effort to meet up with my sisters (eldest and youngest since I have only two, another one is my elder brother so he does not count as sister). All thanks to a very special person who actually made me listen to him and shove the harsh of real life down my throat plus a few nice gesture to soften the blow. Oh, get the dirty images out of your head people.

I never planned it to be this fast, I was thinking of doing it by end of this month or early next month but my friend kinda said why must I wait for doing a good thing? Valid point, correct? Yeah, but then again we are talking about me here. Me the person who avoid his problem as much as possible and not actually saying that this is a problem. Yes, I'm a procrastinator ( I made this word up actually, do not look in the dictionary for a translation but you may find the root of the word procrastinate). Where was I? Oh yeah, the miniature family reunion, not that small if you consider having ten people for lunch is small (including moi). That is not the main point here.

Instead of meeting them at my sister's house, I made it a point to meet at a neutral ground (No, I don't have a back up plan to actually run away from meeting them...I do have a bit but I make it a stand that I'm not gonna ignore what is right and what needs to be done, pronto! ( Again, who am I kidding, knowing me for a long time, I'm better off not dealing any problem at all in life but that is impossible my dear).

You know how fate works in a mysterious way, well it has proven to me that it is true. I arrived at the designated location 30 minutes earlier and I was thining of calling up my sister and ask here that I'm here and where to meet them, but I never did that. I wonder for awhile in the mall, buy my "Pedang Setiawan" (Hong Kong comic translate into Bahasa Melayu) and go into one or two shops before arriving at the end of the mall. Before I arrive at the corner, I saw 2kids playing with each other followed by the litte boys and in an instant I knew that they were my nieces and nephews. Then I saw my sister and my heart just sank....she look so small, so fragile and at that instant I knew that this is one of the most memorable moments in my life that will live on in my entire being. And then she turned and saw me standing there, smilling and I could see that her face was of pure joy, a relief sight that she actually got to see her little brother again. I never hugged my family, not a single one of them and this is actually the first time that I ever did that! Then I saw my little sis who came with her husband and she also gives me a hug, now I got two sisters in my hands and it feels nice to have known that they still love me eventhough I have not been there for the family for 5 years. Tears of joy rolling down their cheeks and I have to muster all my courage not to join them , not that I'm being an egomaniac, it's because I have to be the strong one. If not, then for sure this will be like one of those Hindustani movie where all of the actors broke into tears including the audiences (I know I tried to make funny moment now but believe me, I could fall down and cried as well)
After what seems like an eternity and I don't mind people watching, my sisters let go and I get to be intorduced to the kids ( well some of them didn't remembers me, what do you supposed, they were 4 and 2 years old back then) and my little sis's hubby. This going to make me look bad but I actually did not attend to my sister's wedding last year out of my own stuborness and workload. I know I can shift the workload, that's just the reason to you know make my stuborness look less vile and evil.

I get to talk to them before waiting for my brother in law (my eldest sis's hubby) arrive from his meeting. I don't know what to say actually, I have never been good at dealing with emotions and emotional matters. I just freeze and keep quiet...but it does feel good being in a presence of family again. It's not the words that we said it's the way we acknowledge the feelings and appreciating the value of a family.
Then I get to see my brother in law and he was happy since I came. He actually know that I'm er...kinda special heheheh. I don't go around town and tell them I'm gay, especially at work. Most people will treat and looked at you diffrently if they know the real you, so spare me about being honest for once. Some people just can't take the truth about themselves much less about others.

We had a great lunch, I ate 5 pieces of pizza which is impossible feat to be doing on my normal day eating routine but being in such warm enviroment, I have this crazy appetite to eat and be happy. Maybe it's the family thing. This makes me remember about a meeting I have with a friend several years ago, he said that he will meet me after going out for dinner with the rest of his siblings first. Which kinda nice really, now I totallt get his point.

Thank you new year for giving me a chance to be a better person and giving me the chance to right the wrongs in my life. May I have the courage to guide me with the love that have been showered in my life and I promise never to take things for granted no matter how small or insignificant they may be. They might be small for me but for someone who cares, everything you do to them is special indeed.

Have a good weekend people and thank you for just being in my life even just for a glace.