I’m stuck onboard a ship that I come for survey all because of unpredictable weather. Me, myself an unpredictable, a variable if you will. So, sorry if me missing from the blogging scene is making your life incomplete hehehehe, too much, yes?
But really, life has been a big change for me and its not even half of 2008, yet I manage to do things that would take me years to accomplished, let alone achieve. Should I spill out the beans in full HD details? I don’t think so. Not right now and not in public.
One thing you should know is that I’ m not a good person, in every single sense. I try to be good but eventually I break down and fall apart faster than you can hold your breath. It is even harder when you live a lie and lies are all that put me where I am right now. I lie to my mom (it’s a long story and to cut it short she wants me to get married to a girl and be normal…..which I’m not at the moment) so I told her that my job kinda suck and I’m always on the go (which is true), I lie to my colleague when they ask me about my girlfriend and I told them to go fly a kite (kidding). I told them she is good and into family business (matter of fact it was my hubby that I was referring to and he is not a she). What else? Let’s see….. I got a bf….and another bf…which makes it three? Not a rocket science math there, so go figure.
But well…all of it is coming to an end. Somehow along the way between my last entry and my last editing of this piece of story of my so called life, I’ve done some serious deep thinking and mind cracking decisions which breaks two hearts and I have partially buried mine along with it. So now I’m incomplete but I guess having what I really want…a person that is, to be by my side does make up for my insufficient being.
I know it’s cruel to those I left behind but it will be even worst if I just let them live in a lie, my lie. I just finish watching Run Fat boy Run…a line caught my eye. “I would rather ruin your day than let you live in a miserable life”. Not getting it thru? Just go get your hands on the damn DVD will ya!
What else do I need to confess today…..hmmmm I did finish off 3 DVD’s yesterday which says a lot about my free time onboard but what the hell, this is my time to unwind. My days are frickin’ exhaustible and I need some entertainment damn it! Drama much?
So till then, do have a pleasant life, chow babeh!
But really, life has been a big change for me and its not even half of 2008, yet I manage to do things that would take me years to accomplished, let alone achieve. Should I spill out the beans in full HD details? I don’t think so. Not right now and not in public.
One thing you should know is that I’ m not a good person, in every single sense. I try to be good but eventually I break down and fall apart faster than you can hold your breath. It is even harder when you live a lie and lies are all that put me where I am right now. I lie to my mom (it’s a long story and to cut it short she wants me to get married to a girl and be normal…..which I’m not at the moment) so I told her that my job kinda suck and I’m always on the go (which is true), I lie to my colleague when they ask me about my girlfriend and I told them to go fly a kite (kidding). I told them she is good and into family business (matter of fact it was my hubby that I was referring to and he is not a she). What else? Let’s see….. I got a bf….and another bf…which makes it three? Not a rocket science math there, so go figure.
But well…all of it is coming to an end. Somehow along the way between my last entry and my last editing of this piece of story of my so called life, I’ve done some serious deep thinking and mind cracking decisions which breaks two hearts and I have partially buried mine along with it. So now I’m incomplete but I guess having what I really want…a person that is, to be by my side does make up for my insufficient being.
I know it’s cruel to those I left behind but it will be even worst if I just let them live in a lie, my lie. I just finish watching Run Fat boy Run…a line caught my eye. “I would rather ruin your day than let you live in a miserable life”. Not getting it thru? Just go get your hands on the damn DVD will ya!
What else do I need to confess today…..hmmmm I did finish off 3 DVD’s yesterday which says a lot about my free time onboard but what the hell, this is my time to unwind. My days are frickin’ exhaustible and I need some entertainment damn it! Drama much?
So till then, do have a pleasant life, chow babeh!
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